They All Choppable

What's with all the hits? I feel like Navin Johnson or something (the new phone book's here..).

Coupla things I've been cogitatin' on (thx to Robert for the vocab):

Staying light under debt. Can it be done? Should it be done? If we're really all in, and we have access to credit, just how far should we go (ten years, and probably $70K for me--much more than I ever owed for college)? I see no reason not to do it, but clearly it's one of those "don't try this at home/professional driver on closed course" type of things. Or maybe not. Why wouldn't god use everything we have at our disposal if a longer latency period could mean faster artistic/spiritual/personal progress? Why would a few interest payments fade him? And how could we develop a true and pure faith if we were working the whole time with not only a spiritual but also a material and emotional safety net. (The spiritual one being permanent). I'm definitely not saying get rid of the net, (am I?) but when you get all the way out on that branch, sick and tired of the damn climb, do consider that jumping for it may just be the answer. I'd take a deep breath first. And definitely pray on it. But with finite options and infinite love, I think we've got to consider that metaphorical flying may be a metaphysical possibility.

I didn't really figure I'd get to be an even decent love artist without a thorough understanding the relationship between money and love anyway. Lonliness/aloneness as well (damn it). You can't know (or own) the with if you h'ain't known the without. Or as Eminem says: Ya gotta live it to feel it/If you didn't you wouldn't get it. I'll still do a two-step and have fun in a waterfight with kids--you can take me to bankrupcy court and beat me. I just don't care. --Or, I care so much I don't care. I'm open to input, and relaxed, but my committment is on lock. It simply costs too much to go back and forth.

One of the many times I was seriously wondering what the fuck?, I made a promise to at least go out the right way. Go out in Yemen whooping it up like 'Awrance instead of in a cubicle like Larry. (If you got all those references, I either want to marry you or nod "what's up" knowingly as we pass on the street, depending on your gender and/or pheremonal compatibility). Although with my birthright the risk would be 80 year-old who "never amounted to anything". Just like my dad's girlfriend Lee predicted. God bless you Lee.

Got to give my friend Robert a ride today. Lucky thing I did too. After I got over the "I'm really going all the way out to the west side?" thing, I remembered that it feels different out there. People are around! People are doing it. For better and worse. You can feel it. I had to take my shirt off just to fit in. It's relaxing. Try that on the N side, biotch.

We were approached by two men at a stoplight who were pushing their CD. Thank god for love! Thanks god for hustlers. I gave the man $10 just for coming up to my window and talking to me like I might give a shit about music. If I felt that love that every day, maybe I'd be done by now. It was hot out and his hand was sweaty when I shook it. His two partners had the other line of traffic and the other direction covered. Damn. They didn't even have any graphics on the cover, just a color Xerox of a photo of them. I've sold my book on the street in Seattle (and believe me, wearing a suit and charging $40 for a book with you white and half naked on the cover in Seattle is probably as much of a stretch as the Hood Stars pushing their cd to cars at Chicago and Cicero). And I popped it in and they're telling me to wait for the movie! Fucking beautiful! Glorious!

Anyway, I'm so tapped out I'm just about falling asleep at the gym, but--a lovely thing--I don't care. There's a critical point where you go from stress/exhaustion/whatever means slow down, stop, get afraid, etc. (and I have been blessed with time to rest, and I do take it) where you go from stress equals I want to hide to where stress equals "good, let's do it right now!" I think it's the difference between difficulty means "take your environment in, it might be your fault/punishment" to difficulty means "better leave it out there, Bobby, it looks like some shit". Let it drop.

Like Nowitzki/without the height
Light you up for 50/flashing overbite!

That's me.

The other beyond dopest rhyme I've reheard lately (while trying not to fall asleep at the gym):

I'm on a mission that [folks] say is im-possible
but when I swing the sword, they all choppable

There's one from the Hood Stars about giving accountants paper cuts, but I forget the first line, so I'll have to get back at cha with it.

Pax!