One Thing

One thing I've been looking at these days is defining moments. (I wish I had a more unique term, but hey..)

Like Dwayne Wade tying it up and then winning it with two free throws in overtime.

Here's a few things I've found.

You're usually exhausted.

Sometime it feels like the "regular season" is just to get everyone good and tired for the playoffs so we can see who's steel and who's iron. Unfortunately, I think this has more to do with regular life than we would probably want. Or admit. This shit has to be trained for.

There's a choice.

It can go either way. Luckily, most moments aren't a basketball game, where someone has to lose. In fact, most relational/relationship moments, I would say, are either win/win or lose/lose. Growth/better or same/backwards. The matter at hand is either enjoyed, creatively transcended, avoided, or becomes more entrenched.

The deal is--it's hardest to make optimal decisions under these conditions. Time is usually a factor as well. And as much as I'd like to believe that we aren't forced to act, getting into what I really want seems to me to come with somewhat of a mandate for action. (As much as I'd like to sit around and think my way through things). I think between the east's nothing matters/give up the world (give up the body) to find peace and the west's control the world/everything matters (the body is all), is a path that includes both mandates for action--get out of bed now and...--allowances for rest--naptime! The skill being to know when each of these come about.

But what I wanted to mention is that when the battle is joined, when you step up, when you say "whatever it takes, let's do it now" (even if what it takes is nothing or inaction), a whole world of possibility opens up. And some real magic starts to unfold.

When you talk to the person in front of you in the grocery line, who's earrings caught your eye. When you decide not to have that cup of coffee and take a nap instead. When you go onstage and are willing to die. When you stand up and decide to speak. When you decide to stop speaking and listen.

At first, these moments are like a cold shower. Mostly fear and panic. But it seems to me that it's a muscle that can be developed. That you can make the world the type of place where the lovely happens--even though it doesn't have to. Even though no one has the energy. Even though it didn't work last time.

I guess it comes down to what we feel the universe and what our world is about. If it's a creative, loving place, where we have time enough for everything (does this negate my earlier "mandate for action"?--good question), if it's all love, then why not stretch? Knowing you'll come to rest in a soft place. Wiser for having tried.

If it's a cold place, though. If people are messed up and problems abound, then protection is key and "trying" is best done when one feels safe, after some money is put aside, etc. Later.

There's no fronting on what the state of the world is. Although I would say that it's infinitely more loving, happy and gorgeous than my morning newspaper, Spin magazine and the TV report. Times forty probably. I rarely see reported even half the joy I see driving across town. If the ice cream carts are out, you're guaranteed a handful of pure moments. Sugar-induced, to be sure, but most parks contain more joy than the city newsroom, which purports to tell us what's happening. Without ever visiting the park. If they wanted to do it proportionally, they'd have to give equal time to every street that didn't have a shooting. Every intersection that didn't have a crash. All peace is is peaceful. And it doesn't advertise. We have to go to it, that's why its love. If it came to us, it'd be drama (or a stalker). I guess what I'm saying, is that we are responsible for maintaining it. Keeping it alive. Even though we aren't the source. Or at least that we encourage it to thrive or start to use it up by our actions, which tend to be a result of our beliefs.

And that these factors come together from time to time to form openings in our world, in our personal and collective reality (maybe even all the time), and that at these moments, it can all change in a moment. Whichever way we'd like it to. If we've got the guts (and humility?) to make it so.

The second point being that we can either get into these moments (with the final buzzer about to go off). Or shut down. Because we're free.

In any event, most world religions and the humanist tradition agree that the world is broken. Or at the least has great room for improvement. The question I'm interested in, an believe is crucial, is what is at it's core. And why don't we spend more time talking about this ultimate reality--seeing that we at least either want to get closer to it or claim to be representing it. And ultimately, should we base decisions on an assumption of faith, because the world is infinitely safe, or an assumption of skepticism, because it's generally flawed? (An aside--would all the horror matter if love was the undeniable core? Would love be superficial if death and decay were the true nature of things?)

I think our answers to these fundamental questions determine most of the human world. If we believe we have dreams because we're here for that reason, and it's our destiny to achieve them, that's a much different world than some a hungry, fickle machine that must be served. An astrologer I got an email from the other day termed it as destiny vs. fate. I think that what is termed fate may be the shadow side of destiny. Unexpressed, unloved, un-fought-for destiny coming out as resigned fate. It's happened to me.

But all this makes it seem large and cumbersome. And maybe a bit sad. And it's not. Not at all. It's perfect and wonderful and in complete synch. (And right on time!!!) Maybe I should have eaten lunch before trying to type it out. My point is that once one decides, all these questions drop away. And life is the result. The doing of it. Although unless it's something you're willing to die for, unless you let it drop away the right way (with Dwayne Wade's followthrough?), with your desired understanding in place, you'll think you're in hell.

Work as play or play as work.