You Thought Love and Money Weren't about Sex?

I don’t know exactly where to start with this but I suppose I should jump right on in. Show you all that I really am beyond hope. (Good or bad?)

There’s been a lot of talk recently about business having a gut and trusting your gut—and for the most part they’re right on. The truth, though, is that it’s much, much larger than that.

It’s not just a gut that business will have to have to compete spiritually (thrive in the long run), it’s everything. This stuff that I’m talking about—that many people are talking about—is intimately connected to all parts of the body. One’s gut is only the beginning.

Does this mean that you’ll be a better negotiator if you do sit-ups? Yes, but that’s not the only way. It may be the most humble way (a healthy ego is another way to negotiate some things well, as are considerable acting skills).

That the ideas I present are rooted in the body means only one thing: that they can’t be faked. If you ever thought you could just get the money and then worry about feeling rich and loving in the material world (and I’ve tried it numerous times), then in the spiritual you can be sure that this is impossible. The very fear that causes you to think you can’t be happy (or loveable, or relaxed, or worth it) until you’re with money, will ensure that you are chasing this train forever. In the spiritual world it’s first things first. And second and third. And everything else comes from that. Everything. The feeling is all you have—and it’s the feeling that makes you valuable. When it’s gone there’s nothing.

As opposed to the material level, where ill-gotten gains are possible—and even the norm—on a spiritual level there is no way to fake value. Another way of saying this is if you want to feel it—the truth, your house in Winnetka, your beautiful wife, your life—you must go about it the way your soul wants. And in accordance with the physical attributes you were given (or chose—depending on who you ask).

What does this mean? It means that in this world you will be asked by whatever powers that be if you are willing to give up yourself—your soul—for any reason. And money, the wife, kids, social pressure, the economy and the boss are all right up there. This usually takes place by putting us in a situation where it looks like we will have to sacrifice everything to be or do what we want. It may or may not be true—we may or may not lose anything, but we will be asked. Often repeatedly. We are in charge—god just asks the questions.

What does it mean that the spiritual is rooted in the material? This means that the left half of your body is the feminine side, and the right half is the masculine. This means breathing through your nose means something different than breathing through your mouth. It means that just about everything can be seen symbolically (unless you try to see everything symbolically, in which case, from what I can tell, there’ll start to be a whole lot of garbage messing with you to tell you to get on with it).

This means living your life with an inhalation first and an exhalation second may be most of the difference between living inspired and feeling exhausted. The most concrete and repetitive act of setting priorities—the body I chose to come here as first. Self-care, self-love first. You ruthlessly, lovingly first.

This means that the front of your body is the future and the back is the past—and that transferring your weight properly to the floor (through the muscles of your core instead of the bones of your back) means you are ready for whatever’s next. Posture counts. Looks matter too—maybe not in the way we think—but start asking yourself why you wouldn’t be twice as beautiful and have the posture you always admired on others. Think Pilates.

This means that the left half of your brain is the one that’s struggling for control and interested in keeping chatter going at all costs (this half is associated with the right side of your body and your left eye). This means that your right brain is just sitting there, perfectly happy to enjoy silence and really wishing someone would come visit. This means the world doesn’t need to be saved—just improved (if we so choose). And that the whole thing is right in front of us to enjoy whenever we want. This means politics is much better at getting rid of what we don’t want than at creating what we do.

This means that we can’t get any better than what we eat or feel feelings beyond the thoughts we choose to think. Or something like that. The specifics may be somewhat unique for different people, but if you’re interested in developing better feelings and more lovely thoughts I can’t recommend ignoring the jist.

One of the reasons we are being asked to commit so fully this time around—in essence to go the distance before we see any (material) rewards—is that we are at the point in history where everything that can be done on half a being has been done. You can invent a heart pump drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes and never feel your mansion, beautiful wife, and five kids. You can also teach the world the validity of anger and immediacy in art and end up killing yourself. But that’s all been done and now there’s nowhere left to hide. We want art and culture made by adults. So that’s where our travels to create take us. I don’t like to get apocalyptic but it does feel like people the world over are being asked to choose how they want to live. The margin for error—or room to mess around—seems to be narrowing.

A lot of this body stuff seems to be based around integrating energy. Not taking in anything too low-energy in the first place and also being adept at embodying the high energy that can come with creation and inspiration. I’m not a purist by any means (I gave up everything—from cigarettes to wheat—kicking and screaming) but it is simply what works. And you can’t front on that. My general rule of thumb is to make sure my critical mass is what and where I want, and then not sweat the miniscule stuff—as long as my body tells me it’s okay. As I get farther into it, though, I will say it seems like my body wants even better regulation.

Regulation of what? Good question. Two of the primary things for me are blood sugar and acidity.

Both are given a good start by The Blood Type Diet. And if you haven’t read up on this I’d advise you to at least peruse a copy at a bookstore. It really does work. The problem is that we are addicted to many of the foods that work least well for us. I don’t know why, but it’s true.

For blood sugar, what your body wants is to burn long and slow. This means more, smaller meals (haven’t quite gotten to this one yet) and probably more vegetables and less starch in the morning. Protein every time you snack. I finally just gave in and started eating ground beef and vegetables for breakfast. With a little quinoa. As my aunt told me: it’s what the rest of the world does.

The exact details that I was told are that your body wants at least 50% low carbohydrate vegetables at each meal, with the rest divided equally between protein and high carb stuff. This differs for different blood types depending on what you body wants. It’s hard to eat this way but it works miracles. Stuff like sugar, alcohol, bread, pasta and the like are basically pure sugar and will zap your love quicker than you can say diabetic coma. Straight up, straight down, long recovery. Very sticky.

Acidity (or Alkalinity) is a measure of pH. Your body wants to be balanced this way as well. Different foods are different pH levels (or create different pH in your body?) and, who would have guessed it, we tend to go for the acidic stuff. Which is? Sugar, peanuts, processed foods, alcohol, some beans, etc. There is some discrepancy between this and the Blood Type Diet (red meat is high pH in theory but Type O’s are to consume it every day for example), but more than anything I’d just let this be a reminder that what works for you—what makes you feel best long term—is what works for you. There are a few books on this type of stuff. One is Alkalize or Die but I don’t even like the title so I can’t recommend it. A lot of people this far out get a little messianic (sometimes for good reason) in their struggle to get their message heard. Keep your powers of discernment tight. Food is a wonderful thing and the purpose is to enjoy eating it.

By now, if you are in your right mind (or even your left), I know you’re saying What the #@$*? Why on earth would I give up everything I hold dear and the twenty-two things I find pleasurable on this earth? Just to do art? Just to make money? It’s not worth it.

My brothers and sisters, I would never ask you to even consider such a sacrifice for the sake of the economy. Or better production—creative or not. Do it for the sex. Do it for the love. Do it for the feelings. Do it for the feelings you’ve always felt you could have but were an inch (one cup of coffee) away. The feelings you’ve gotten a few times with the right people. The feelings you thought were impossible to maintain.

What if you could walk around like that?

That all this stuff is rooted in our bodies not only means that we’ll never get anywhere better than our health (or much stronger than our discipline), but that once we take our happiness and well-being seriously, it will lead the rest of our life—like a kid with a balloon. (Sorry for the cheesy image—it needed something).

What if your job not only didn’t compete with your sexual drive but was dependant upon it?! Hello?! Dallas?! What if you could trade that candy bar or piece of cake for what you really wanted—intimacy that lasted? That grew stronger and built up. What if two hours a night was standard—even with kids in the house? Do I have your attention yet?

Our strongest addiction, and in some ways the most essential, is to love. We want to join with our partner and lose ourselves (the bad way, not the Eminem way) even more than we want to join with a candy bar and lose ourselves. This is represented most essentially in the sexual act—it is in this entirely and most magically creative act that we are given the opportunity—time after time after time, second after second, moment after moment—to be ourselves. To resist death. (This is taking me a little while to write—it must have been a long time). When we succeed in being ourselves—when as men we hold on in the face of the eternal and as women we give in to the moment—we feel bliss beyond that we’ve ever known. And it’s great exercise for living the rest of our life—done properly. When we do alright or just get by, we get a kick but it soon starts evaporating and draining the relationship (and us).

For a man to be himself in a relationship with a strong and enticing woman he must be strong and be able to resist time and again giving himself up to her. The sexual politics on this are deep and I have a bit of a cold so I’ll forgo it until another day but start with the book The Multi-Orgasmic Man. It should be required reading for anyone interested in love—both emotional and sexual (and don’t think they’re separated). There’s also a Multi-Orgasmic Couple but as we men so seldom get our own stuff anymore, I’d start with the former. There’s also a book that women (and the men who love them) may be interested in called Sexual Teaching of the White Tigress—it’s a pretty old form so I wouldn’t advise swallowing it whole but it does have some great, great secrets. This stuff will make you look and feel years younger.

The key to all this stuff is to remember that the road map to what you want is YOU! There may be outside information that helps and great sources for secondary knowledge but you’re gonna have to go to the lonesome valley alone—and you will be called upon to account—to yourself—if you did it like you wanted after none of this material stuff matters. Not even art! That’s right—art doesn’t matter shit either. We want to make it so we do (and if we don’t because we’re afraid we’ll surely re-visit)—but it’s the feelings—the energy—the soul that we care about primarily. All matter is energy. And solids are just by-products of our higher—more inspired vibrations. If we lift ourselves up—even ignoring art when it doesn’t enrich our life—then what we create can’t help but radiate loving joy.


A couple other resources: The Diet Cure—a fantastic book about amino acids and supplementing. The author initially started treating alcoholics and drug addicts (with an equal success rate as AA) and then moved on to eating disorders and more stress-related cases. If you never “feel right” except with coffee, or sugar, or whatever, you may have depleted aminos. They are a naturally occurring chemical in your brain and quite easy to supplement. Anyone who has gone through a sustained period of stress or addiction or strange diets is at a high risk for having depleted aminos. You supplement them and learn how to eat for a while (she also recommends the Blood Type Diet and alkalinity stuff) and then you’re done. The book can be a little confusing but worth it’s weight in gold.

Carolyn Myss has a few good books about the relationship between the body and energy—Anatomy of the Spirit comes to mind but pick up any of hers that appeal to you. She’s pretty darn good.

The Way of the Peaceful Warrior isn’t a great book in terms of literature but it is worth reading for very important tips on breathing.

For those way out there—or not afraid of the possibly way, way out—there’s a guy named Prem Raj Baba in California who wrote The Joy Book and The God Book. He’s a nut and god bless him, a great one. He’s challenged me to the core and I still can’t say I’m ready to discount one thing he’s said. The Joy Book is very good on breathing (and valuable about integration as well).

The Four Agreements is good too—but be careful, as with most of this stuff there are ideas that can slip into the less loving side of our brain (do your best) and reinforce certain Puritan shortcomings.

The trick—again—is to translate this stuff into your own life. It’s about you—and no workshop or book is going to provide a complete answer (and thinking so can slow us down). Ain’t no more gurus anymore—just us chickens!

All the best!