A Few Notes on Strengths and Exponential Growth

I’ve been thinking a lot about self-led growth recently—taking responsibility for my own growth as opposed to waiting until something becomes “problemized”. One of my largest hurdles has been figuring out how to grow (I probably called it changing before) without being “wrong”—without creating a problem or demon to crush and kill and push off of. How to be gentle enough with myself that I didn’t spend a lot of time analyzing what was wrong with me and looking backwards just to get to the next step. I also found that when I “wrongized” myself or someone else, it made a vacuum that my ego was just dying to jump into.

“Problems”, in my experience can be very, very hypnotizing. And take a lot of time and effort. I’ve found it’s much easier and efficient to admit what condition or state I want more and go straight towards it—damn the torpedoes—and dropping less lovely things along the way if necessary. Basically, instead of bashing down whatever wall or barrier I felt existed, just making myself vulnerable and opening up to living with a greater or deeper desire.

A couple of ideas around these ideas:

The first is why mess with the best? Not only has there been a lot of research (Gallup) showing that the best is the ripest opportunity for growth (and offers the highest return on investment). Committing to growth (which is different than improvement—cause nothing’s really wrong—our standards have just been raised) before one encounters “difficulties” can be tricky but it returns rich rewards. It also keeps the ego out of success and the focus on what works long-term (the process of growth instead of the results of past growth). This is not to say I don't mark and enjoy success—I do—but I focus on the feeling it brings instead of the products or trappings. I let it inspire me. (If it doesn't bring a feeling—why did I want it anyway? —An excellent question I've asked myself many times.) Many, many great companies run into difficulties as a result of success. Even more are one hit wonders.

Second, the best inspires. If we really are here to love (and live comfortably because of that) and not the other way around (go make money and then love when I retire or die), then what we have to offer primarily—to both the economy and others—is inspiration. Money may motivate, but beauty, efficiency, quality, grace under pressure, stories and relationships inspire. Go for the love first—be vulnerable—and you’ll have the effect you’ve always wanted. Once you can have the effect you’ve always wanted (and can remain yourself—have fun—doing it) you can’t help but make money I’d argue.

Third—let’s raise our standards. Many, many of us suffer from low standards. We don’t believe in what kind of a life we can really have. We don’t take responsibility to enjoy the one we have the way we want. Money isn’t going to save anyone’s life any more than a new cell phone will get you more exciting calls. Drama may beckon but you can’t enjoy yourself anywhere but right here, right now. Put yourself first. Once you’re enjoying every minute and dancing through the streets with nothing, who could resist that real-estate deal?

Fourth—and this is a good one—it’s all sensitive dependence on initial conditions. This is something I picked up from Chaos theory. The idea—which is scientifically sound by the way—is that complex systems like the weather, society, the economy, etc are incredibly dependant on initial conditions. This is the butterfly in China causing a hurricane in Iowa. Initial conditions are like DNA. And it’s true. This is “tipping point” to the tenth power. And means that you are a tipping point for the whole world. The root causes of radical, rapid and enormous growth are miniscule just like a virus. Or an individual. What this means, in my opinion, is that your intention and how you start anything—everything—is replicated again and again. If there’s a shortcoming (something you wouldn’t marry but didn’t think you could do better than) in your initial thoughts, you’ll run into it again and again until you’re forced to go back and do surgery. Or get divorced. Why not just go straight for it? Admit everything from the start. A White Gold corollary may be: love is all we want. We’re not into the gift economy yet (just wait), but practice believing in your wildest dreams coming true instantly. Imagine the entire world being saved easily in an instant. Wherever we’re headed we’ll get. But we’ll never get anyplace we’re not headed.

So why grow or improve something that’s doing great? Any growth or improvement now will pay off a hundred fold down the line. Let’s beat our butterfly wings—or stop to rest on a flower—whatever the spirit moves us to do. We’ll never have more clear instructions for future growth than what we want right now. But let’s go deep—let’s pretend we can start from scratch—that we’re free. I know this contradicts years of psychological thinking but I’m ready to contradict it for love. And have felt the rewards. Let’s think big and allow growth and changes in plans as they happen.

And improvement isn’t necessarily working harder—au contraire. Organic farmers make more money per acre plowing under a crop every two or three. In the inspiration economy rest, relaxation, play, transition, getting ready and downright down-time is crucial as well. We can’t achieve our way to love. We can’t advertise it like a used car and expect it to feel like a Lexus. We can’t conquer or consume our way to it. We conquer ourselves and it walks through the door. Or we create the conditions and then see it just up ahead. Haven’t you seen the movies? The more we grow and commit to being ourselves, the more appealing stuff we get to enjoy being ourselves around.

Which brings me to the best reason to improve the best: because we know not what we do. We don’t even have a sense of how good life can get, of how engaged and calm and content we can feel every day. How much love we can feel all the time. And we need inspiration. We need models--and not dumb or shallow models. Brilliant and engaged, emotionally mature models! Great mom models! We want to bounce out of bed and jump into bed! We’ve got motivation in droves—too much. We know there’s barely anyplace sane to sit—but why on earth do we think that good customer service, or joy, or wonderful grocery stores, or friendship, or love and support, or double digit growth are rare or hard to come by? Isn’t it all us here? Aren’t we all smart and capable? Don’t we all do the work? Aren't we all professional expert consultants? Could it be that we’re all waiting for someone else to go first? Deliver us a life that we can go consume after working unhappily (or moderately happily) to make money (or even save the planet). Why don’t we think it’s all one? Why don’t we think it’s instantaneous? Why don't we think it's our natural state? Why don’t we think it’s easy? I, for one, am willing to bet that it is.